Are we better off as friends?

Question: My girlfriend and I are really close and have a great friendship, but the romance isn’t there. We do a lot of things together but once its time for us to “relax” she seems distant like she isn’t attracted to me or something. Are we better off as friends or am I overthinking it?

There is a yes and no answer to this question. Only because it can either mean it isn’t romance yet, or there never will be. I’m working with little information here so hopefully my advice is helpful for you.

#1 If there isn’t any romance yet, that friendship will be the thing that gets it there. You are still getting to know each other, having fun. It just isn’t serious. This is nothing to worry about. You have to continue to build on that. It doesn’t happen overnight, especially if you are going for something long-term. A relationship that builds on a strong friendship will last.

#2 If you two are in the friend zone but trying to force something that’s not there, then yes, you’re better as friends. Sometimes people mistake certain feelings, or just want to test things out. DO NOT! I repeat, DO NOT ruin a perfectly good friendship on something that is never going to work out. It can and will go sour quickly.

#3 If she seems uninterested or uncomfortable when you guys are trying to be intimate, then please don’t force it. Don’t take offence. Literally just ask. Is it something you did or are currently doing? Is the spark gone? There could be many reasons, but with women, I can guarantee it is not something that just happened out of nowhere. Especially if things were going just fine before. Be open to actually listening to her response.

You really have to evaluate and talk about the situation with each other. If you feel this way, I am sure she does also! Don’t be afraid to say something. It may hurt right now, but it will be the best thing you’ve done in the end.

Let me know your thoughts!