I think my boyfriend/girlfriend isn’t over their Ex. What do I do?

Question: I think my boyfriend/girlfriend isn’t over their ex. What do I do?

This is something that happens often with both men and women. Trust me. First, I will give you some reasons why this happens, then I will explain.

1. They had a bad break-up
2. Can’t stand to be alone
3. They are jealous that the ex moved on
4. They were the one that was broken up with
5. Unresolved feelings
6. A child is involved

Now, all of these are common reasons, and I have heard them all as the final reason from many friends.

#1 They had a bad break-up.

When there was a bad break-up, there usually won’t be a good relationship with you, especially if there was cheating involved or they were the ones who did the breaking up. I’m not saying it will be horrible on their part but a lot of times there will be a crazy ex. The kind of ex who won’t go away no matter how much you think time has went by. In this case, you will think there is still something going on when there really isn’t.

#2 Can’t stand to be alone.

Sometimes people just don’t like the feeling of being lonely and will stop it before it even starts. A friend of mine went from relationship to relationship and ended up with many broken hearts due to this reason. If you can’t take time to be alone, then you don’t need to be in a relationship. At least for a little while. This is the perfect time to learn about what you really want.

#3 They are jealous that the ex moved on.

If the person you are with is flaunting you around, putting you up on every Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram post, this may be why. The ex they were with, the girl/guy who they thought was the one has moved on. Most men can’t handle this, and a women too. It’s hard to see that person with someone else so they use you to feel better. You’ll get it eventually.

#4 They were broken up with.

Getting the relationship boot is so painful. At times, you feel like your life is over. You think that was it for you, no one will ever compare. To fill that void, you get into a new relationship. A rebound, as it is famously called. When this happens, the person knows they don’t really want a relationship right now. They will just use you as someone who will satisfy their needs until they get over what just happened to them. It’s kind of like medicine, you use it to feel better.

#5 Unresolved feelings.

Now this is a big one! Sometimes a break-up goes great. You still remain friends, no issues whatsoever. Unknown to the other person, you are still in love. You didn’t want to look like a fool and say it, or sometimes you just really want them to be happy, even if it is without you. When you get into your next relationship, you will miss that person and compare everything to them. It isn’t intentional, but you will find yourself doing it a lot. Eventually, you will have to face those feelings when you realize the damage it is doing to your new relationship. Which will then lead to another break-up and more heartbreak.

#6 A child is involved.

When their past relationship resulted in a child, 85% of the time, there will be some problems at some point. Sometimes it is because of baby momma/baby daddy drama. In that case, be prepared for a fight often. Most men hate to see their kid around another man, and some women feel like they are being replaced. A lot of times, it is because they were a family at some point, and/or they left the relationship with that possibility open. There are even times when the guy will feel guilty because they aren’t with the mom and vice versa. It is all about the child in this case. They want a family structure, and most will eventually work it out with the other parent. If you can be a good significant other and show them you have no problems with the other person, or with parenting the child,d then it can work out with great results.

To truly answer the question, you have to evaluate.

I’m not saying go through all their stuff and start calling friends. I am saying to think about how your relationship started, and what’s happening now. If you think any of those things above are a reason, then you can make the choice to stick it out or move on. Maybe they aren’t the guy or girl for you right now, but they could be in the future.

I will elaborate on this more in another post soon.

Let me know your thoughts below!