Okay, So I’m Forgetting Everything… Now What?
Gentle Tools for Coping with Memory Fog from Trauma & Depression
So you read my last post and said,
“Damn… I thought it was just me.”
Well, boo it’s not just you.
And now that we know memory fog is real and rooted in something deeper, the question becomes: what can we do about it?
I’m not gonna hit you with some bootcamp productivity planner nonsense.
This ain’t that.
This is a soft girl’s guide to managing memory loss when you’re already doing the best you can.
Let’s talk tools. Gentle ones.
1. Write Things Down, Baby, Even the Small Stuff
No, you’re not doing “too much” for having a notes app full of random lists.
You’re supporting your future self.
Write down:
- Conversations you need to remember
- Ideas that pop into your head
- Dates, appointments, deadlines
- How you felt about something
- What someone said that stuck with you
Bonus tip: Use cute notebooks or digital journals that make you want to open them.
2. Use Alarms Like a Bestie, Not a Boss
Set alarms for everything. I mean everything.
Drink water? Alarm.
Take meds? Alarm.
Call back your cousin? Alarm.
There is no shame in outsourcing your memory.
Your brain is dealing with trauma. The least we can do is give it some backup.
3. Break Things Into Mini-Tiny-Toddler Steps
If your brain feels scattered, don’t fight it work with it.
Instead of:
- “Clean the house”
Try:
- “Pick up dirty clothes”
- “Wipe the counter”
- “Rest”
Chunk your tasks into little baby steps that don’t feel overwhelming. Then do what you can, and rest.
4. Reset Your Nervous System Regularly
Sometimes the fog isn’t even about memory it’s about overload.
Try:
- Deep breathing (inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 6)
- Splashing cold water on your face
- Stretching slowly
- Sitting in silence for 5 minutes
- Putting your hand on your heart and saying “I’m safe now”
These little nervous system resets can bring clarity and calm your mind enough to function.
5. Tell the People You Trust What’s Going On
This one’s hard. I know.
But sometimes a simple:
“Hey, I forget things more often now because of everything I’ve been through. It’s not personal I’m just healing.”
…can help set boundaries and build understanding.
You don’t owe anyone a full trauma breakdown. But you deserve to be supported with grace.
6. Let Go of Perfection (For Real)
You’re not going to remember everything.
That doesn’t make you any less smart, beautiful, or worthy.
Your worth is not tied to your brain’s ability to organize chaos.
You’re not a machine. You’re a human, and you’ve been through hell. The fact that you’re still here, still trying, still loving? That’s powerful.
Final Thought: You’re Not Broken, You’re Rebuilding
You are not “behind.”
You’re not “too much.”
You’re not lazy, dramatic, or a mess.
You’re a human being, processing pain while still choosing to show up.
And that means everything.
Take care of your brain like it’s your inner child.
Because honestly, it kind of is.
Did this help?
If you’ve been trying to manage memory fog while healing, I hope this gave you something useful or at least reminded you that you’re not alone.
Leave a comment below if you have your own soft hacks for coping or if you just need someone to say, “You’re doing enough.”
Because you are.
Always.