Advice, How-To, Self Help

How to Move on From a Toxic Relationship

Every day you hear about a struggle someone is having in their relationship. Whether it be on social media, tv, or in your own life, there is always an issue that seems to never end. How is that possible? Is it their behavior or personality? Their circumstances? Or is the possibility that it wasn’t meant to be?

As someone who relies on The Lord’s opinion and guidance for everything, I’ve come to realize that most of the time the last option is the truth.

I feel like we may have all been there. Without even knowing I can tell by their situation what is going on. It doesn’t even have to be a relationship, it can be work related, health related, education related, or anything that you may be involved in. If it was not approved by God, or sent by him in some way, then you may have constant problems.

When I say problems, I mean the following things:

Health issues

Personality change

Financial disruptions

Addiction

Changes in behavior

Emotional damage

Abuse

Constant arguing

Accepting things you wouldn’t normally accept

Neglecting self and responsibilities

Distance from friends and family

These are all good reasons to indicate something isn’t right.

Now when these signs pop up they are called RED FLAGS! Red Flags are that voice in your head, the pit in your stomach, and that constant nagging feeling you have when you just know something isn’t right. But, you avoid it and tell yourself that maybe it will change. Guess what the? The odds of someone or something changing your favor is very slim. Of course, there are times when something will change to benefit you. Can you guess when those times are?

When God is involved! When you pray! When it’s meant for you! 

There is never a time when HE won’t be there to help us. But, there are times when he will let us go through the struggle in order for us to open our eyes to a situation. Look around you and assess what is going on. Does the bad outweigh the good? Is this situation worth your time, money, effort, or pain? If there is any doubt at all then take that as a sign to begin moving on.

Realize that people are not going to change for you because it benefits you. They change to benefit themselves. If someone doesn’t want to change then you can’t make them. You can’t for someone to love you, you can’t force your boss to pay you more, you can’t force the world to change for you! Remember that. 

So, how do you move on? It’s not always a simple process. It’s all about prayer and preparation. Give yourself time and build your strength to be able to make it through without looking back.

Start by asking for guidance in prayer. Ask for the plan and opportunities to make your move. Remember HE is always with you and will never leave your side. Have a support system. Not everyone has this available to them but if it’s possible for you to take advantage of it. Trust me when I say you will need someone to hold you accountable.

Keep your eyes focused on the goal. Being independent, spiritually secure, financially and emotionally set, and there is a list of other benefits that could come from this situation. Trust that it will come one you break free.

Do not let fear break you down. Fear sneaks in as guilt, worry, loneliness and confusion. These, unfortunately, are the #1 reasons people stay in bad relationships. You believe that maybe God wants you to stay and it will all work out. You will quickly realize the truth with this way of thinking.

When you start making an effort God will step in and open doors for you, close the ones you need to avoid and place things in your path that will elevate you from this situation.

If you can, try to leave on good terms in your heart. I know it’s sometimes not possible, but be okay with you and your decision. Leave no chance of going back because of guilt, or wanting to fix that person. It never works out in the end, even when it seems like its going well.

I know this from experience and to be honest it took a long time for me to realize that I avoided many red flags. I was in denial and once I finally realized my surroundings I worked really hard to rely on my faith to move on. I am now in a good space in life and I am able to help others get out of a bad situation.

Everyone in a situation like this has my prayers and help. Support can come from anywhere and I will gladly provide it!

Have you been in any experiences that you had to move on from? Share them if you’d like! Leave a comment and be a part of this discussion.

1 Comment

  1. Dawn

    January 30, 2017 at 2:59 pm

    Great post. Has a lot of truth to it.

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